Getting Her To Talk Dirty

“Talk dirty to me”. For a lot of women these 4 words equate to an instant anxiety attack, and complete verbal paralysis, like a deer frozen in headlights. Although the idea of dirty talk probably ignites some form of spark, many women are uncomfortable with the idea of verbally sharing their desires, and/or exploring their s3xuality.

Women for generations have been pulled in two directions. They are expected to meet the high standards of femininity and beauty, yet told in countless ways through the religion, education, literature and media that being s3xual is wrong. We must exude maternal traits and shagging appeal at the same time. We must know how to please our men, but without showing too much experience. We must be s3xy, but not too s3xy. We see women portrayed by the media as being shameful for being too s3xual.

Over the years, women have learned to repress their desires, urges and fantasies. All of this societal confusion about s3xuality is obviously going to carry over into our relationships. We’ve heard “a lady on the streets and a freak in the sheets” but women are fearful of being labeled a “slut”.

“Talking dirty” doesn’t come easy to a lot of women because we are raised with the belief that shagging is something to be ashamed of, and shouldn’t be pleasurable. Women haven’t been given the encouragement to speak openly about their desires, let alone their kinky fantasies.

The ultimate goal is to have a fun and fulfilling shagging life for you and your partner. Dirty talk and play is one way to enhance your between the sheets action.

All it takes is a little encouragement, and insight into the female mind to get her to talk dirty.

Begin with gently opening up the conversation. Let her know that anything she says is ok. Create a safe place with zero judgement. Ensure her that you want to experience a mutually fulfilling shagging life with her. I guarantee she has all sorts of fantasies locked away in her mind’s vault and she’s been hoping all along that you could just read her mind and meet those desires. Let her know that you love her, you are attracted to her and want to satisfy her. If she’s still hesitant, dig deeper.

Relationships are our greatest spiritual teachers. They will always bring up in us that which needs to be healed. It’s cliché, but you only grow when out of your comfort zone. Ask her, “What exactly freaks you out about talking dirty?” “Do you feel vulnerable?” “Do you feel out of character acting s3xy?” “What can I do to make this feel more do-able?”
Really listen to what she says. Be understanding of her fears.

Many women simply don’t feel s3xy. Retrain her brain! Compliment her often. Make her feel like a s3xual goddess. Let her know how turned on you are by her. This will do wonders for her confidence and enable her to freely express herself s3xually. Share how turned on you are by her openness. Women are natural pleasers. If she knows you are turned on, she will naturally let go of insecurities she may have.

Respect boundaries. Some women don’t care to swear. That’s ok. There are many ways for her to verbalize her fantasies. Keep in mind, what is a turn-on or someone can be a turn-off for someone else. Maintain respect for each others differences.

The act of talking about fantasies can be as rewarding for some as actually living them out. If your partner expressed she was turned on at the thought of a three-some, this doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to actually have a three-some. Allow her to feel free to s3xually express herself without the obligation of carrying out the act.

S3xual confidence is magnetic. Be vocal yourself during shagging and play. Let her know what you like, what you want to do to her and how great she makes you feel.

The more confident she feels in expressing herself, the more fulfillment for you both!!