4 Creative Ways to Ask for What You Want in Bed




Because sometimes spelling it out isn't so sexy
Let's face it, sometimes it can be intimidating or awkward to flat out ask for exactly what you want in bed. Whether it's a new relationship and you're just getting your rhythm down or you've been with a guy for a while and want to kink things up, a little subtlety in delivery can go a long way. We asked some experts about creative ways to introduce new pleasures into the bedroom without actually having to spell it out.
1. Email Him a NSFW Video
Maybe you saw something crazy-hot in a porn clip that really got you thinking or there was a particularly racy scene from Game of Thrones that got you very hot and bothered, but you're not sure how to bring it up. Easy: Email it to him, suggests therapist Megan Fleming, Ph.D., and give him some time to watch it on his own before sending over your own thoughts. Then, once you're together, ask him what he thought and if he liked it. When the conversation is flowing, it'll be a lot easier to mention how turned on you were by that special move James Deen did right at the end...
Let's face it, sometimes it can be intimidating or awkward to flat out ask for exactly what you want in bed. Whether it's a new relationship and you're just getting your rhythm down or you've been with a guy for a while and want to kink things up, a little subtlety in delivery can go a long way. We asked some experts about creative ways to introduce new pleasures into the bedroom without actually having to spell it out.
1. Email Him a NSFW Video
Maybe you saw something crazy-hot in a porn clip that really got you thinking or there was a particularly racy scene from Game of Thrones that got you very hot and bothered, but you're not sure how to bring it up. Easy: Email it to him, suggests therapist Megan Fleming, Ph.D., and give him some time to watch it on his own before sending over your own thoughts. Then, once you're together, ask him what he thought and if he liked it. When the conversation is flowing, it'll be a lot easier to mention how turned on you were by that special move James Deen did right at the end...
4. Let Your Hands Do the Talking
Sometimes, the easiest way to introduce something novel is in the heat of the moment. "Direct where his hands go with yours, using a gentle or passionate touch," suggests therapist Brandy Engler, Ph.D., author of The Men on My Couch. "Most men love it when women can take a leadership role. Just remember to be attuned to the mood of the moment because one of the common issues I see is when both the man and woman are trying to initiate something different at the same time," she explains. "It's a dance, one must read the other and ideally take turns leading and following," explains Engler. So take the reins by placing his hand under yours and showing him exactly what to do with it—chances are, he'll get the hint.

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