What You Need to Know Before a Casual Hookup
Because there's more to a one-night stand than "Your place or mine?"
Random hookups can get weird—and not in the fun, “let’s get weird” sort of way. He isn’t familiar with your go-to erogenous zones, you’re not sure if breaking out the dirty talk will terrify him, and he does things that the last girl he was with must have liked—but you absolutely do not appreciate. That said, it doesn't have to be a bust—if you're safe about it and emotionally ready for no-strings-attached shagging, a casual hookup can actually be fun, says shagging and relationship expert Emily Morse, co-founder of Emily & Tony. Follow these steps to make sure your casual encounter is safe and satisfying:
Follow the Two-Drink Rule
Though you might be tempted to down a few cocktails before a one-night stand, you'll be safer and more s3xually satisfied if you limit yourself to two drinks, says Morse. Putting a cap on your booze intake will allow you to be your s3xy self without getting borderline sloppy, and it will help you avoid getting into a dangerous situation. Plus, throwing back too many drinks can dampen your arousal, making an orgasm very unlikely.
Though you might be tempted to down a few cocktails before a one-night stand, you'll be safer and more s3xually satisfied if you limit yourself to two drinks, says Morse. Putting a cap on your booze intake will allow you to be your s3xy self without getting borderline sloppy, and it will help you avoid getting into a dangerous situation. Plus, throwing back too many drinks can dampen your arousal, making an orgasm very unlikely.
Bring Your Own Condoms
"Condoms are not a suggestion, but a requirement," says Morse. It's safe to assume that this might not be his first casual rodeo, and it’s just plain smart to protect yourself, she says. So instead of worrying about whether he's got the goods to keep things safe, pack your own condoms. "So many women get caught up in the moment and throw caution and condoms to the wind—only to find themselves at the doctors office Monday morning," says Morse. Seriously, the best offense against STDs and pregnancy is a solid condom defense, she says. Not to mention, you'll be able to enjoy yourself more when you aren't worrying about protection.
"Condoms are not a suggestion, but a requirement," says Morse. It's safe to assume that this might not be his first casual rodeo, and it’s just plain smart to protect yourself, she says. So instead of worrying about whether he's got the goods to keep things safe, pack your own condoms. "So many women get caught up in the moment and throw caution and condoms to the wind—only to find themselves at the doctors office Monday morning," says Morse. Seriously, the best offense against STDs and pregnancy is a solid condom defense, she says. Not to mention, you'll be able to enjoy yourself more when you aren't worrying about protection.
Use Your Go-To Moves
Since you can't depend on a guy you don't know that well to knock your socks off on the first try, it's important to take your orgasm into your own hands, says Morse. You know your body and what it takes to get you there better than anyone, so don't hesitate to take control and get into your favorite position. Hop on top so you can control the speed and depth to make sure it feels good for you. Plus, this allows for easy access to all of your erogenous zones, and you can guide his hands wherever you want them, says Morse. Or try one of these positions that make it easier to orgasm. If you're feeling shy about taking the reins—don't be. Seeing that you're enjoying yourself will make him enjoy the experience that much more.
Since you can't depend on a guy you don't know that well to knock your socks off on the first try, it's important to take your orgasm into your own hands, says Morse. You know your body and what it takes to get you there better than anyone, so don't hesitate to take control and get into your favorite position. Hop on top so you can control the speed and depth to make sure it feels good for you. Plus, this allows for easy access to all of your erogenous zones, and you can guide his hands wherever you want them, says Morse. Or try one of these positions that make it easier to orgasm. If you're feeling shy about taking the reins—don't be. Seeing that you're enjoying yourself will make him enjoy the experience that much more.
Don’t Be Afraid to Try Something New
If you're feeling ballsy, a casual hookup can be a good time to expand your s3xual repertoire a little bit, says Morse. Feed on that spontaneous energy and try a new position, dirty talk, a little kink, whatever you and your partner are into, she says. Still, if at any point you're not feeling it just say, "I'm not into that, let's try something else," and go back to doing something you liked before. The hard truth is that women are less likely to climax during a casual hookup, so don't put too much pressure on yourself to reach that point. Instead, extend foreplay, focus on enjoying yourself, and don't worry about having an orgasm. "If you know it's casual and you might not reach that 'O,' than you might as well have as much fun as possible," says Morse.
If you're feeling ballsy, a casual hookup can be a good time to expand your s3xual repertoire a little bit, says Morse. Feed on that spontaneous energy and try a new position, dirty talk, a little kink, whatever you and your partner are into, she says. Still, if at any point you're not feeling it just say, "I'm not into that, let's try something else," and go back to doing something you liked before. The hard truth is that women are less likely to climax during a casual hookup, so don't put too much pressure on yourself to reach that point. Instead, extend foreplay, focus on enjoying yourself, and don't worry about having an orgasm. "If you know it's casual and you might not reach that 'O,' than you might as well have as much fun as possible," says Morse.
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