Dating & Self-Pleasure




In my practice I have often encountered single individuals who are concerned that self pleasure will inhibit their desire to seek a partner for dating, or fun. Some even stop self pleasure completely while in this companion-pursuing mode. While each individual is certainly unique in regard to their emotions and cravings, the fact is that self pleasure does not interfere with one’s motivation or yearning to date or “hook-up” with others for s3x.
In reality, the reverse is accurate. Self pleasing basically advances your intimate essence and s3x life. If a male is pleasuring himself regularly while dating, he will last longer during s3x, generating a more gratifying experience for both partners. If the female is a consistent self-pleasurer, she possesses a consciousness of her own body that most will find erotically stimulating.
Self pleasure is a kind of calisthenics for your s3x muscles: if you don’t use it, you lose it! So, would you stop exercising at the gym or at home if you decided to begin dating? Of course not. So why would you stop your workout when you are seeking a companion?
Touching yourself for pleasure is normal and begins in the womb during development. Self-pleasure is so natural that throughout childhood we touch ourselves for comfort. So when we halt this soothing sensation and place all of our expectations on another to provide this intimate stimulation and release, we are most often disenchanted.
However, your belief system is also significant regarding dating and self-pleasure. The mind is the ultimate influential s3x organ. If you believe that self pleasure will obstruct your incentive to seek a partner, then it will. If on the other hand, you have confidence in the fact that self pleasure enriches your intimacy, makes you extra alluring and a more erotic being, it shall. Self pleasure is natural and vital and can be performed for countless reasons. The ultimate goal of this erotic art is not simply to “get off.”
Here are some of the many compensations of self-pleasure:
  • It is a natural muscle relaxer and sleep aid
  • It releases anxiety and stress
  • It teaches you about your body and how you achieve and experience orgasm, so you can share that knowledge with a partner
  • It alleviates menstrual cramps in females
  • It relieves headaches and migraines
  • It centers you and makes you mindful of your own body and its needs
The key is to remember that your body, along with your intimacy, is ultimately your responsibility. In short, loving yourself in every way, including the act of physical self-love, can only make you a better and more effective partner and lover!

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