11 Thoughts Every Woman Has While Giving A Blow Job




It's time to take back the blow job, ladies.
Forget the stereotype that giving a BJ is somehow subservient or anti-feminist. Choosing how to show your s3xual affection however you want is as empowered as it gets.
Still, no matter how down you are with going down, in the throes of the (sometimes lengthy) act, you can't help but let your mind wander a little. Whether it's your favorite item on the menu, or you only like to serve it from time to time, here are 11 hilarious thoughts you've probably had while giving a blow job.

"Is it bad if I'm only doing this because it will be faster than s3x and I'm tired AF?"

We've all been there. But hey, there's nothing wrong with placing value on your partner's pleasure AND efficiency.

"Damn, corks are really not cute."

They're not! Like objectively they are just not an attractive appendage. Not when they're staring you in the face at least...

"Prepare to be blessed by my goddess mouth. Time to Rock. His. World."

The happy ending may be for him, but you're the writer of that story, baby.

"Do not touch my hair."

Let's be real, good technique requires concentration and a hair tug can totally throw you off your rhythm. Not cool. More importantly, doesn't he realize you're trying to make this blowout last another day? Paws off.

"Can we turn some Beyoncé on or something? I deserve an anthem."

Nothing like a little Queen Bey to remind him who's in charge in this situation. Plus, the spit soundtrack isn't exactly a turn on.

"Yeah, I know you like it when I play with your balls."

What is proper testicle etiquette these days? Do we squeeze them? Caress them? Is tugging fair game? No shame in avoiding that political hot potato.

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